It was a complete breakdown about four years ago -- during an extremely stressful period of my life that included mountains of schoolwork and other responsibilities, death of an acquaintance (I didn't know her well, but for some reason it hit me hard), the insanity of a close friend of mine, a horrible soul-breaking job, and a series of minor crises.

I spent the first three years or so going through the motions of life. Spending time with strangers -- and sometimes even friends -- gave me panic attacks. Finally, this last year I started to feel human again, and I've felt fully myself a few times, for a few hours and then a few days at a stretch.

I go back and forth, but the periods of feeling human are getting longer, and the panic attacks are less and less common. That's why I've only recently started to come out of my shell and be social.

Sometimes I revert, though, like this morning. But I was feeling human again by the afternoon :)