Okay. Tone doesn't always come across in cyberspace, so I wasn't sure.
By understanding I meant I have no "visceral awareness" of it. I've heard the description of the experience by people in the community, and I have an intellectual awareness of the experience.
I just can't translate it into personal terms, except somewhat haphazardly, by cobbling together a number of other experiences, most of which are decidedly non-sexual (for instance, I can understand catharsis in other contexts).
I could even understand a certain amount of pleasure in submission. I am really more of a bottom, when it comes down to it.
But looking over our houseguest's pictures last night, I kept trying to picture myself in a similar situation, and it came out like, "All that leather and plastic would mean less skin-to-skin contact." And so often it involved distance -- frequently someone else held a whip, a rope, or something held from afar, or had him on a leash.
And I had to admit the sight of cuffs or manacles bothered me -- it's one of my biggest fears to be tied up, and even seeing it upsets me and stresses me out. And fear doesn't translate into desire for me. It just translates into misery, in my case.
And then there are the fantasies, which I've been asked to participate in a couple of times -- even they feel like a kind of handcuff. I know other people who consider them a form of freedom, and that's fine. But that's not me.
I'm just explaining myself. Sex is one of the most individualistic activities a human being participates in, and that's a good thing. Unfortunately, there's a fair bit of prejudice on both sides. I've been made to feel like a prude sometimes for being vanilla :/
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regna
Re: On the attraction of BDSM
Date: 2005-11-29 01:18 pm (UTC)By understanding I meant I have no "visceral awareness" of it. I've heard the description of the experience by people in the community, and I have an intellectual awareness of the experience.
I just can't translate it into personal terms, except somewhat haphazardly, by cobbling together a number of other experiences, most of which are decidedly non-sexual (for instance, I can understand catharsis in other contexts).
I could even understand a certain amount of pleasure in submission. I am really more of a bottom, when it comes down to it.
But looking over our houseguest's pictures last night, I kept trying to picture myself in a similar situation, and it came out like, "All that leather and plastic would mean less skin-to-skin contact." And so often it involved distance -- frequently someone else held a whip, a rope, or something held from afar, or had him on a leash.
And I had to admit the sight of cuffs or manacles bothered me -- it's one of my biggest fears to be tied up, and even seeing it upsets me and stresses me out. And fear doesn't translate into desire for me. It just translates into misery, in my case.
And then there are the fantasies, which I've been asked to participate in a couple of times -- even they feel like a kind of handcuff. I know other people who consider them a form of freedom, and that's fine. But that's not me.
I'm just explaining myself. Sex is one of the most individualistic activities a human being participates in, and that's a good thing. Unfortunately, there's a fair bit of prejudice on both sides. I've been made to feel like a prude sometimes for being vanilla :/