The ten worst ways to get to Concordia's English department

[felis_ultharus]

The Ten Worst ways to get to Concordia's English Department (fourth floor, Library Building, inaccessible by stairs) are:

1. Attach suction cups to your hands and feet and scale the outside wall
   
2. Tie sheets together and have someone on the inside tie them to something secure
   
3. Teleport
   
4. Helicopter airlift
   
5. Being shot out of a cannon
   
6. Jetpack
   
7. Really big-ass trampoline
   
8. In a sleigh drawn by giant flies
   
9. Solely by the power of positive thinking

And the absolute worst way to get to the 4th floor is:

10. By the elevator

Seriously, I spent half an hour on four elevator trips today. One elevator's doors refused to open, and the others were so stuffed that no one else could get for at least three trips. Plus the elevators are impossibly slow at the worst of times.

Comments

[jenjoou.livejournal.com]

The fly drawn sled sounds kind of fun....

Have you conisdered going to the fifth floor of the Hall building and shooting a hook with a rope attached going down that? ;)

Although if you ask me it's vot very safe to have floors inaccessible by stairs. What if there's a fire? I think Concordia has it in for the English department.

[felis-ultharus.livejournal.com]

There are stairs -- they set off an alarm if you open the door, though.

[felis-ultharus.livejournal.com]

As for having it in for the English department, I think their usual weapon is budget cuts.

[infinitecomplex.livejournal.com]

Isn't there some kind of health and safety issue when a whole part of a building is inaccessible by stairs?

In one job I had, the elevator was so bad it broke down between floors on a regular basis. One day it broke while three people were sneaking off for a cigarette break without clocking out. They ended up being stuck for six hours, the fire brigade had to be brought in to free them, and one of them wet their pants. I'm not sure whether this is more of a cautionary tale about illicit cigarette breaks, or badly-maintained elevators.

[jc2004.livejournal.com]

LMAO...could be worse. I know someone who got stuck in an elevator for over 4 hours and it was completely mirrored so she had to look at her own face for the whole time. She decided, after staring at herself for 4.5 hours, that she really hated her hair. A more evolved mortal would have been driven mad.

[felis-ultharus.livejournal.com]

What was her hair's opinion? Did it come to hate the person it was attached to...? Or did they decide to work it out?

[foi-nefaste.livejournal.com]

You know, you could try staying home and trying that positive thinking option.

'cause that way, instead of spending half an hour in elevators, you can spend half an hour in bed. And avoid seeing That Prof of yours. Not seeing a downside (well, apart from missed classes, but meh).