Depressing musings...
Nov. 13th, 2005 10:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
felis_ultharusSo I'm going to the NDP conference thing this afternoon. It seems my presence is expected.
It's frustrating. It's been four years since my breakdown, and I'm slowly getting better, but I still have such a hard time dealing with strangers. I had to set aside everything this morning in order to mentally prepare myself for the ordeal. It means losing half a day of writing and schoolwork. I just can't focus when I'm trying to prepare.
Of course, a couple of years ago, I couldn't have left the house at all to deal with anything like a conference. And there are times I can do things like this now -- more and more often -- without risking panic attacks, and sometimes even relaxing.
But I look around, and I notice that my two closest friends from high school have also both developed such severe agoraphobia they don't leave the house anymore unless absolutely necessary.
And we all have our different reasons for it, but it's so strange it should happen to all of us, around the same point in our lives, when we're all so far away from each other. None of us were in contact with the others when it happened to us, so it's not a question of influence.
Is there a common thread? Could we identify a "Post-Esquimalt Stress Syndrome"...?
It's frustrating. It's been four years since my breakdown, and I'm slowly getting better, but I still have such a hard time dealing with strangers. I had to set aside everything this morning in order to mentally prepare myself for the ordeal. It means losing half a day of writing and schoolwork. I just can't focus when I'm trying to prepare.
Of course, a couple of years ago, I couldn't have left the house at all to deal with anything like a conference. And there are times I can do things like this now -- more and more often -- without risking panic attacks, and sometimes even relaxing.
But I look around, and I notice that my two closest friends from high school have also both developed such severe agoraphobia they don't leave the house anymore unless absolutely necessary.
And we all have our different reasons for it, but it's so strange it should happen to all of us, around the same point in our lives, when we're all so far away from each other. None of us were in contact with the others when it happened to us, so it's not a question of influence.
Is there a common thread? Could we identify a "Post-Esquimalt Stress Syndrome"...?
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Date: 2005-11-13 02:19 pm (UTC)